So I recently picked up a book, "The Power of a Positive Wife." I'm only three chapters in but I wanted to share some key points I found and my thoughts on them. This is not only relevant for people who are already married but also for people who are dating/thinking of getting married. Hope you can get some insight out of this too:
Myth: There is only one "true love" out there for every woman- let's hope we don't choose the wrong one!
- No where in the Bible does it say there is only one person right for you to marry. Having these thoughts can be dangerous once you do get married. If everything isn't easy and romantic and happily ever after like in the movies and you start noticing flaws or changes in your husband, you may start doubting your choice and thinking you chose the wrong, Mr. Right.This can lead to temptations that would violate your marriage if you thought the right guy was still out there somewhere.
" When we subscribe to the notion that there is one perfect person for each of us, we tend to believe that once we find him, there will be no work involved in the relationship. Certainly, we should look for a spouse who exhibits the character qualities and Christian values that we know we want in a lifelong partner. But when we find that seemingly perfect guy, we must accept the fact that love will still be work. True love doesn't mean having a relationship of ease, it means making the continual choice to love and forgive.....True love isn't discovered; it's created."
Myth: I can fall out of love with my spouse.
- "The idea that marital love is something we can fall in and out of is an unfortunate, yet common belief. It's almost humorous to think of people strolling merrily down the path of life, falling in love, vowing to stay in love forever, but then somehow magically falling out of it. It's as if they're on autopilot and they have to go wherever love takes them. They have no power or say-so in the matter. When love is defined as a feeling that comes and goes, it takes on a mind of its own."
There are four different kinds of love-
1. Affection love- like that from a parent to child
2. Friendship love
3.Pleasure/Desire love- sexual
4. Divine love- selfless, like that from God
A marriage should involved all 4 of those types of love. Does that sound like something that you can just fall in and out of?
"Typically when people say they have 'fallen out of love', what they really mean is, 'I am no longer willing to work at loving you. I would rather follow my own pleasures and look for someone else to make me feel good about myself.'" We should not find worth in our husbands, but worth in God.
No one is easy to love! We all have flaws, not just men. So think about what they have to put up with as well. "True love loves past the weaknesses and builds on the strengths."
So women, be careful while dating- this is the time when you can choose to say goodbye to a guy, so make your mistakes now and learn from them. Love is a powerful thing and you shouldn't toss the word around loosely. I learned through my dating experiences that usually the feelings at the beginning of a dating relationship are not the true love described above. So make sure you mean it when you say it.
And women who are already married, make the daily decision to truly love your husband and not focus on their weaknesses. Work on your own weaknesses and encourage each other in your personal lives together and with God.
Read more of this book: